Interview with Mandy Szabo (Part One)

Interview with: Mandy Szabo
Topic of Discussion: Hospitality

If you don't already know Mandy Szabo, chances are, if you DO meet her, you will be invited over to her house for dinner that same night! ;-) And after dinner with Mandy, her Husband, Marc (of 4 1/2 years) and their one year old daughter Mabel, you will feel like family! The Szabos are a godly, Gospel-focused family that loves to share their joy... and their home with others! I was able to sit down and have a video chat with Mandy one afternoon and ask her some questions about hospitality. Our prayer is that you will be encouraged to open your home to outsiders after reading what Mandy had to say.

Sam: Mandy, was your family hospitable growing up?

Mandy :Yes. So, my Mom always encouraged people to be at our house. And we lived far away from our family. So we had our Grandparents down for a month at a time. Or we had our entire family down. We always had the resources to handle that sort of thing. We always had sleepovers at our house. She was always like, "Come to our house!" So she could know our friends and see who we hung out with and see what they were like. Every party, everything, was always at our house! For church, for cross-country growing up. People in high school knew that about our house. And there were MANY times,...few times...some times, they would even come over and I wasn't even there! Or like a ton of people would get there before me, because I am always late for everything! *laughter* "Oh yah, just come over to my house and I'll be over there when I can!".  And they are over there eating our food and talking to my Mom or something. And one time they were playing video games with my little brother! It was just always, open door, all the time, always a ton of food! She always made extra of whatever food she was making incase someone was going to show up. That was just the way I always grew up.

Sam: That is awesome. And I feel like that liberty has definitely filtered down to you, because I always felt like going over to your house wasn't a burden to you. It's not like you were saying, "Oh, let me check my schedule. Let me make sure my house is perfect.", or "Let me check the cupboard, cuz, what am I going to feed you?". It wasn't a stress. It was, "Just come!".

Mandy: It's just natural.

Sam: Yep, natural.

Sam: Besides your own family were there any other influences that influenced you, as far as hospitality goes?

Mandy: I guess, my Grandmother also. I think it must run in the family. My Grandmother was the same way.

Sam: Your Mom's Mom?

Mandy: Yes, my Mom's Mom. She would always have cookies or something. She was always prepared. If you came to stay for a little while she would always have your bed made up and have little chocolates or little soaps laid out on your bed for you. Your towels all laid out. Just cute stuff like that.
And then, I think Mike Schadt, (Director of SOS Ministries) spending time with him, you learned hospitality, as far as missions goes. Hospitality is key to missions. When I went on missions before Mike Schadt, we were in people's homes but it wasn't the same as when we went with Mike. When you went into some one's home with Mike it was relaxed, a slow time. And that wasn't him being able to invite you in, but part of that is kind of how you get to know people, love people. Being in their homes, being with them for an extended period of time without having anxiety over having to leave for this or that.

Sam: It's kind of seeing the flip-side of it, with Mike Schadt. That is cool.
So, since you've been married, what has hospitality looked like in your home?

Mandy: I just wanna open my home; have people there. So, we would open it to anything for church. Like we always said we are willing to host if you need someone. Depending on the person, it can be a burden. And it never was for us. We've always enjoyed having things at our home. And Marc was the same way. He didn't grow up having anyone at his home, ever. But Marc also loves having people over and is very good at cleaning so that aided in the hospitality growth! *laughter* I'm not always very conscious of that, and Marc is!
I think it started with hosting things for church. And if we needed a bigger space we would work with my Mom and use her house. We just used the resources we had.

Sam: I met you at a Missions Meeting in your first small apartment with everyone crammed in there!

Mandy: Yeah, I always felt like it was never a struggle to have people to come to my home even if it wasn't large. It isn't about the size of your home or how incredible the meal is, but how you prepare your home.

Sam: Do you enjoy hospitality or do you kinda make yourself do it?

Mandy: Nope, I love it every time! I think your front door should be a revolving door...but have a latch! The door just keeps revolving and you just shut it sometimes when you need family time. Now that we have a child we face different challenges than we did before.
I read in a blog somewhere that hospitality and entertainment are two different things and sometimes we confuse the two. Hospitality is when you have someone over and you burn the rolls because you are so engaged in the conversation! There is a vulnerability and you make yourself an open book.

Sam: That is awesome! I love it! Alright, so what is some of the fruit you have seen from hospitality?

Mandy: I think from childhood it would be extended family, that wasn't blood related. We had a good friend of mine who had an eating disorder live with us for three months. Our home was a better environment for her at the time and she is a sister to me now. And she considers my Dad her Dad! So you gain family you didn't have before!

To be continued...

Abraham's Birth Story (Part 2)

...continued

So my story left off with Brian and I in the car driving to the Birth Center. Our drive was thankfully only about 15 minutes long and my contractions were tolerable while in the car. We arrived around 5:30 AM. Brian walked with me from the car to our room at the Center. We stopped a couple times as I worked through the contractions as they came. Brian was extremely supportive and gentle. He listened carefully to what I needed.

The Birth Center was quiet and empty. My Midwife, Vicki was waiting for us. She had filled up the bath tub and had the lights dimmed. I believe some soft music was playing.

Vicki had me lay down on the bed so she could check my dilation and administer an IV since I had tested positive for Strep B. I was 4 cm and fully effaced. I was happy to hear that. But I also was concerned we had come in too soon. I relayed my thoughts to Vicki who kind of laughed and said she was glad I was there! (Abe was born less than 3 hours later!) Laying down on my back and side during those few minutes was awful. I could not have labored entirely on my back! I was dying to get back on the floor! While she finished up with me, Brian set up a soft blanket on the floor, right by a rocking chair. This would be my "laboring station" until I got into the tub.

Once on the floor I remember my contractions seemed to be intensifying to the point where I wanted Brian nearby. He sat on the edge of the bed and I leaned on him or held onto him while working through each rush on my knees. They were 2-3 minutes apart and 50 seconds long.

It wasn't long and Vicki suggested I move to the tub. I was eager because I needed some kind of relief.

From this point on, my contractions grew in intensity.(Most of my time references from here on out are from my Vicki's notes). All I could do was breathe and moan through each one. I would use the brief moments between rushes to recover and prepare for the next one. Brian would give me a sip of water through a straw when I needed it. I would go from laboring on my knees to laying back in the tub allowing my arms and hands to float in the warm water. My eyes were closed. I was concentrating. I was praying. I was thanking Vicki and Brian for helping me because I felt I couldn't do it without them. Brian played "Holy Wedding Day" for me (that was the song I walked down the aisle to). :-) Vicki told us we needed to stop or she was going to cry.

6:30 AM--I now was feeling "pressure" down yonder. I believe this is when I began to dread each contraction. As I would feel one coming on, I would say "oh no". At some point once in the tub, Vicki thought to push on my lower back with her hand. It was such a blessing from God. Vicki was pretty spot-on and got it every time. She showed Brian where to push when I was having a contraction, but I felt he didn't always get the exact spot. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I also was limited in how much I could talk, so I kept that to myself.

As the labor progressed and everything became more and more painful I became a little anxious and fearful. "How am I going to make it through the next one?", would go through my head. Or, "When is the next contraction? Oh God, please give me more time". At some point I began to ask for prayer. I think Vicki and Brian spoke powerfully to me in short sentences. They would tell me I was doing a good job. They would pray. I would say, "I can't do this." And Vicki would say, "You ARE doing this." :-) By the end of my labor I was yelling out loud, "God help me!". I was serious!

I had begun praying about labor all the way back around 30 weeks of my pregnancy. I knew only my Heavenly Father could get me through labor. My desire had been to have a very prayerful labor and it was!

7:59 AM--I finally had bloody show. My contractions had become overwhelming. The pressure was very strong. I think I told Vicki "I feel like I'm pushing" around 7:30 AM and it progressed to me saying, "I'm pushing!!". I was scared. My contractions took over my body and with each one my body was bearing down and pushing the baby out! My moaning turned to yelling (which is very embarrassing to me, but it is what it is). :-) The yelling seemed to  be the only way to cope with the pain. Imagine pushing a car, up a hill. You would not do it silently. I could not push this kid out quietly! ;-) Vicki asked if I needed to go to the bathroom. As soon as she asked, I realized I needed to go!

Vicki and Brian helped me out of the tub and onto the toilet. I faced backwards and layed my head on the tank. I relieved myself, both #1 and #2 and my water broke with an intense gush (thankfully on the toilet). I believe it was on the toilet when my yelling turned to screaming during contractions.
While on the toilet, Vicki told us she saw the head!

She suggested I go back to the tub or the bed. At that moment I didn't really care where I was. I couldn't fathom moving. As I moved back to the tub I had a contraction on my knees of the bathroom floor. After that one, Brian and Vicki hoisted me back into the tub somehow!

Once I was back in the water Brian asked Vicki a question that has now become our funniest story ever!! :-D

Brian: "Do I have 30 seconds to go to the bathroom?"
Vicki: "A quick 30 seconds!"

I was thinking to myself..."Why can't you just use this toilet?" And then I remembered Vicki was there! :-) After he left I had a terrible contraction and I remember yelling at the top of my lungs...."Briiiiiaaaaannnnn!". I wanted to make sure he knew the baby was coming and he needed to get back to me! :-)

We think Abe was delivered less than 2 minutes after Brian came back into the room!!

I delivered Abe while kneeling and leaning over the side of the tub. Once he was delivered I was able to sit down in the water. Vicki brought Abe up out of the water and placed him on my chest! It was over! I was still in pain! But our son was here! Labor was over!

I remember just catching my breath and being so thankful it was over! I still hurt and wished I could be free of pain. But the hard part was over and I had survived!!

Labor began: 1:00 AM
Abe was born: 8:13 AM
8 lbs. 14 oz
21 inches

And he came on July 4th!

..."call upon Me in the day of trouble;
I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me."
-Psalm 50:15

"But I call to God,
and the Lord will save me".
-Psalm 55:16

Abraham's Birth Story (Part 1)

Before I gave birth to my first son, Abe, I wanted to know as much about labor & delivery as possible! With a non-medicated labor as my goal, I figured ignorance couldn't be bliss! ;-) So I read labor stories, asked every mother I met about their labors, took classes at my Birth Center and asked my Mom about her labors for the umpteenth time!

 If you are pregnant or want to have a baby one day, maybe you like to hear about the process. The details of how a baby goes from living inside of his Mom to greeting the world! Since every labor & delivery story are different I feel that the more stories you hear, the better! You want to get a good overview of the long labors, the short, hospital births, birth center & home births, water deliveries and your occasional "side of the road" birth!

I would like to share my journey, in hopes that it will encourage...or atleast entertain you! ;-) So, here is the story of how not-so-little Abe came into this world on the Fourth of July!

To begin with, I had a lot of braxton hicks contractions in the latter part of my pregnancy. I was still waiting tables four days a week and the walking really brought on a lot of cramping and contracting. At 30 weeks I was sent to the hospital by my Midwife because one evening they were coming very frequently (I believe they were 3-5 min apart) and I couldn't get them to dissipate. By the time we arrived at the hospital they were abating & I checked out just fine! After that, my Midwives and I figured out that I just had a uterus that liked to contract a lot! The next 10 weeks were full of episodes similar to the first (minus the drive to the hospital). The last "episode" before real labor came six days before his birth. For about 5 or 6 hours I had a lot of Braxton Hicks (some got to be painful). I was very uncomfortable. And as quickly as it came on, they went away.

Abraham was due on Sunday, July 5th. He came on Saturday, July 4th. On the Friday before he was born I was very tired and took a nap. That evening I remember being quite uncomfortable (which wasn't uncommon during my 3rd trimester!). :-P My Husband was giving me a "history lesson" as we watched a documentary and I remember barely being able to concentrate on what he was saying due to my menstrual-like backache & crampy Braxton Hicks. By the time I was going to bed he could tell I wasn't acting like myself and he asked me if I thought this was "it". After having so many bouts with Braxton Hicks and "false alarms" I played it cool and passed it all off as normal end-of-pregnancy symptoms.

11:00 PM: Went to bed.

1:00 AM: I woke up having Braxton Hicks and feeling pressure "down-yonder". I went to the bathroom. From my notes that I typed on my contraction app, I think I had what felt like a "rush" when I came back to bed. (I had been reading stories from Ina May's book and they refer to contractions as "rushes".) All of a sudden I knew what they meant when they called them "rushes" because it came from my back and wrapped around my midsection to my belly in a rush of crampy pain!

1:47 AM: I began to log the contractions on my app. (They were 2-3 minutes apart and lasting an average of a minute)

1:56 AM: Moved from my bed to the couch. Beginning to experience some very painful contractions.

2:09 AM: Texted my sister Chris that I may be in labor. Then I went 3 minutes without a contraction & began to doubt myself. And then, boom! A hard one hit!

2:15 AM: Went to the bathroom to go #1 because the contractions were hard enough that I was afraid I would wet my pants! :-) During a contraction I laid my head on the counter and closed my eyes. When I opened my eyes again, my vision was blurry. I remembered my Mom had always said that her vision got blurry during transition so this worried me (even though I still wasn't fully convinced this was ACTUAL labor! ) ;-)

2:24 AM: Contractions were lasting 40-60 seconds on average and coming every 1 1/2- 3 minutes apart. In my notes I typed, "I cried just now bcuz the reality of this is hitting...if this is for real, we will meet Junior soon."

2:41 AM: Took a shower because I wasn't sure if I'd be able to later if this was labor. And they tell you to shower during "early labor" in Birth Class. Wrote in my notes that I had 3 contractions in the shower and they had been "shorter, easier ones...maybe bcuz of warm water?"

3:00 AM: Woke up Brian. I didn't want to have a "false alarm" so I made sure he knew I still wasn't 100% sure this was the real thing. He suggested I call the Midwife. I bargained, and asked if I could just call my Mom instead! (I didn't want to call the Midwife needlessly. I knew my Mom could help me determine if this was "real".) Contractions are consistently 1 1/2- 2 1/2 minutes apart and usually lasting 30-40 seconds.

3:24 AM: From notes- "Called Mom. Had maybe 3 light ones. Hit with a doozy where I put down phone....told Mom I had to go. Went to toilet had another doozy."

4:17 AM: My contractions were 1 1/2- 2 minutes apart and lasting closer to a minute long again. From notes-"Called Mom. Told her to tell KT and F. B has called Vicki. We r gonna go soon."
KT and F are my two youngest sisters. B is my Hubby and Vicki our Midwife.

4:57 AM: I stopped timing contractions on my app and no longer took notes.

Before we left, Brian was so sweet and neatened things up around the house. He also read the list I had made him and packed his bag. He made the call to the Midwife around 4 AM for me and I remember being surprised that Vicki didn't ask to talk with me. (They usually ask to speak to the Mom in labor to guage how far along they are.) At that point I was on the floor, leaning across our rocking chair's ottoman, moaning and breathing through the contractions.

We had a 15 minute drive to the Birth Center and I was able to labor sitting in the front seat, buckled in! I was so thankful to God, because I had been laboring on my hands and knees or standing, leaning on bathroom or kitchen counters. I had called my sister Chris (or maybe she called me?) in Canada, right before we left our house. I told her I was in labor. I had to put the phone down during every contraction & ended up hanging up on her saying I had another one coming! Chris knew I was getting close because she later told me I was extremely focused. She also said we were only on the phone for a couple minutes and I had a few contractions...basically I was having them more frequently than I had told her! I asked her to pray over our drive because I was concerned about not being able to be on my hands and knees. She prayed. And God was gracious! The car ride wasn't too bad. I pushed my head back against Abe's car seat and my head rest (somehow that helped me). I think Brian prayed for me on our drive as well! I know my parents were praying too! I was covered in prayer!

To be continued...